The Chaos within has been proven!

I need not boast over the title of my blog but as I was watching TV the other day a program came on the air that showed proof from actual politicians and experts of how corrupt and chaotic Athens has become since 2004. They showed pictures and cost statistics from that year and compared it to today. I don't have to go into details with regard to the numbers or conditions that were shown, but the truth speaks for itself. The deplorable cesspool that we call Greece has become the black sheep of Europe and has financial experts worried if it will hold out and remain a part of the EuroZone. There was a poignant testimonial from a young law student who highlighted the superior remuneration packages that students get when they start working abroad(outside Greece) after they graduate. He swore that when he finished his studies he would never return back to Greece to find work. And this brings us to our next controversial topic in our conversation, which has to do with the standard of living here in Greece. Aside from the low compensation packages that Greek employers offer the government's debt is so tremendous that they have nothing to spend on fixing up the messhole(environmental issues, etc.) that they've created from their ceaseless borrowing tactics. Anyway, I honestly hope that in some miraculous way we wake up and start making the necessary changes that are needed in order to make our 'home' more livable(for ourselves) and hospitable(for foreigners), or else I don't see much hope for Greece in the years to come. Everyone on that program was saying that things are going from bad to worse. If that's the case I can only predict that the population will start decreasing(mass exodus of people seeking refuge) since only those with strong roots(family businesses that have lasted for generations) will make it alive.

The 'Look-you-up-and-down-Body-language' Syndrome

First impressions means everything here in Greece. Before you even approach someone or greet someone they'll already have judged you based on your appearance. Greeks have this marvelous gift with their eyes called, "probe-scanning." I came up with that term myself. They'll look you up and down and not give a care in the world if you feel somewhat uncomfortable by their uncalled for innuendos. One indication of this is when they bluntly make a public mockery of you by implying something about your weight or your age. They'll usually ask questions like: "Boy! Did you gain weight? I remember you being lighter." Or, "Wow! you're growing some gray hairs; what are you 50 yrs. old?(when their age in actuality is about a decade younger)" If you've had a similar experience or would like to add something additional to this post, I'm all ears.

The 'Ugly-face-billboard-and-poster' Syndrome

If you've ever been out driving or walking in the streets of Athens -which obviously you have if you live here- one trademark that you'll see advertised on billboards is the zoomed-in snapshot of some guy's mug(face). Usually they're either individualized or with a group of people. Typically they portray a singer or a performer of some kind who will play at a concert sometime in the near future. Most of the mugshots of those who are being shown publicly are ordinary looking people like you and me; but some of them are just outright uncalled for. OK, I admit it, I've gone a bit overboard with the picture to the left, but I have seen some that come pretty close. Those that you'll see most often typify what I like to call the "John Gotti" look(as you can see from the photo to the right).
It symbolizes quite well the scandalous and fraudulent minded Greeks rather well -not only in their dealings with others but in their looks as well- since that's what they've made known to everyone through advertisements and by word of mouth. Their peculiar gaze helps you see right through them, and their gritty smiles reveals their coarseness. From a physical perspective they mostly display someone with unsymmetrical features(a thick brow area) and with a pair of teeth that definitely need some major dental work. That's why most graffiti artists do them the favor by blackening out some of their teeth and making them look even uglier. I believe these advertisements are a deterrent to tourists and to those who are visiting on business.

The sure way to rid yourself of any Greek-related stress

Have you ever been taken advantage of by the cannibalistic clutches of the so-called "social justice" system?

Were you ever deceived by someone pretending that he/she was really somebody else and then later to discover that you were scammed into it for the money?

Did you ever get your blood sucked out of you from a jealous blood-thirsty, fraudelnt-minded Greek(figuratively speaking)?

Did you ever get tossed around like some meaningless toy when all you wanted to do was follow what the other person had said to you - knowing full well that it was his/her job to know what he/she was saying to you?

Were you ever lied to to the point where it got you sick realizing that no matter how much you told the other person that he/she was doing so, they kept doing it anyway?

Tired of the typical idiosyncratic obliviousness; and, the eccentric foibles that tend to get under your skin?

Tired of being bamboozled out of your wits?

If your answer to any one of these questions was a resounding "YES" and you would like to let us know your experience, then you can 'vent off' your anger, stress, or whatever feeling it is that you still hold against the person/system by commenting below. Or, you can also navigate to a particular "syndrome" in the 'Archive' section to the left, and whatever is of interest to you just post your own views on what I've already stated.

Whether it be your daily trip to the supermarket or at work I'm sure we've all experienced some form of tension that has left us weak at the knees. Well it's time to step up to the plate and let it all out. If not for the sake of the Greek people at least to let our messages be inscribed here, and for our well-being.

In order for there to be no misunderstandings about the subject matter in which I write, the "Read Me" button at the top(next to home) goes into detail about what the purpose of this blog is, and how to use it. Since there might be some confusing terminology to a few of you, I've outlined some terms and background information that you will need to know as I continue to update this blog. Have fun!

The 'Prostitute-home-way-of-functioning' Syndrome

A Greek friend of mine told me to write a syndrome with this topic in mind so don't feel offended by the explicitness of the title. Actually the word in Greek - 'Bourdelo'- is less offensive since it is used more synonymously with everyday living. I'm not sure of the actual etymology of the word, but it definitely doesn't carry with it the same implications as is true of its English equivalent. Anyway, according to my friend's opinion -since I casually interviewed him for this piece- the single most intrinsically captivating word that encompasses the ins and outs of Greece's infrastructure and the methods in which things get done would have to be non other than 'Bourdelo.' If you try to picture in your mind what actually goes on in a prostitute home -in a Greek prostitute home- you can pretty much sum up the systemic conditions within every working sector/class as nothing more than deplorable - not that I've ever been in one(bourdelo), but I'm just saying it with the intent of having people use their mind's eye or the power of their imagination.
Take for instance the incendiary fires that keep cropping up almost every summer. It's funny how everybody will tell you the reason as to why these property-hungry arsonists will tear down thousands of acres of wildlife destroying oxygen rich air and entire ecosystems with their fire-frenzied demolition mentality, but on the other hand they'll sit back and not even lift a finger to do something about it. I guess they're content with the way things are and how "permissive" the government is in allowing it to happen. Perhaps they're waiting their turn to light a match and make their dream come true, while on the other hand, they unleash a nightmare that will leave a scar on the earth's surface and kill thousands of animals. But, who's to care? I assume they like living in their 'Bourdelo', without a conscious and without any accountability. All I wish is that those who start fires and burn things out of existence also burn and die in the same manner. That's just one aspect of the 'bourdelo' system here in Greece; there are countless more that I've mentioned before and will soon bear to light.

The 'Open-and-try-first-and-maybe-buy-later' Syndrome

If you've ever gone shopping in a super-market or any other commercial store I'm sure you'll have observed what I'm about to provide testimony to. And yes, this has happened to me on more than 10 occasions or else I wouldn't be writing to you about it. I'm not saying that this sort of behavior occurs all the time, but for those that have come across it and can relate in some way to what I'm about to recount, then maybe my observations do have some credibility to them. Anyway, this type of animal-like behavior mostly occurs in the supermarket isle where you'll find all sorts of sweets and other tasty goodies(i.e. chips, chocolates, etc.). The most vivid account that I remember was when I actually caught him in the act.
Oblivious as he was to his surroundings, I don't think he minded me being there while he opened the bag of chips. He took a handful and stuffed it in his mouth. The left over pieces were either hanging around his mouth or falling down on the floor next to him, creating a small carpet of chips all around him. After he had enough he threw it back on the rack and walked on as if he had done nothing out of the ordinary. I stood there starring at the open bag wondering if anyone else had seen him. But guessing from the lack of alarm on people's faces I suppose nobody really gave a dam. All the other 'I-make-my-own-samples' scenarios had already occurred, so the only thing that I witnessed was the aftermath of their breadcrumb trail. The part where all you saw was either the opened bag of chips or the half eaten candy bar.

The 'Ability-to-philosophize-about-any-topic' Syndrome

Pick a subject and I'll show you a Greek who can rip it apart for hours on end without even taking a break between thoughts. It's as if their brains are hard-wired to some collective mind link that gives them their insidious gift of 'tongue-and-hand.' They can tongue lash at it until it turns bloody red, and then use they're 'kung-fu-hand-gestures' to chop it to pieces. They feel they have assimilated all of the knowledge that the world possesses; and have interpreted it in their own unique special kind of way - a way that can only be comprehended by them or someone with whom they've assimilated into their mind link. They don't tell you this upfront but you can easily discern it when they start doing what you see in the picture(the one to the left of the statue). They look down on you like you're some measly ant looking for their guidance.
Just like Socrates was found guilty of corrupting the minds of the youth of Athens and sentenced to death by drinking the conium, so too should those who by their very nature corrupt the fabric that holds the structure of society in order. However, Socrates stood for something more and spoke against the injustices that he saw within the government, and because of his persistence he was considered like a gadfly to them. The reason I brought out the contrasting example of Socrates is so that we can see how two opposing philosophical trends have diverged - the one being mostly made up of the humble ignorant and the other of the arrogant omniscient. I don't think I need to elaborate on who's who - I believe the reader can differentiate between the two.

The 'I'm 40 and I'm still living with my folks' Syndrome

I can't begin to tell you on how many occasions I've seen it, and yet every time the same scenario continues to ring true without any particular form of embarrassment for the protagonist in our story. I'll elaborate more on the embarrassment portion toward the end of our story, but for now just sit back and read as I try to add a little fiction to this real-life scenario. The Greek fledgling -or protagonist- in our story will proudly bear the name, "Ahortaggomahos." His mission in life -if he chooses to accept it or not- is to try to fight off the abominable conditions and surrounding enemies that his 'Spartacus-like' parents try to train him for. Their graceful mastery of the arts do well in equipping him to ward off many potentially fatal pitfalls. Since they have been tempered for years in the heat of battle they seem to know well the enemy that continues to ostensibly grow in strength and numbers.
As the years passed, Ahortaggomahos eventually started to mature in strength and mind, and showed a fighting spirit that became known to many nearby villagers. His deeds and noble acts were continually recorded in his family's 'book-of-chronicled-acts', something that was passed on from generation to generation and which all families in Greece possessed. It was kept for posterity and to uphold the traditional values that set each family's heritage apart from the rest; because let's face it, the independent spirit that existed back then among them had created a competitive arena whereby each of them was like their very own gladiator fighting for their own space/property. That's why(as a side note-not taking the fictional-based story into consideration) Greece was mostly made up of a conglomerate of independent states that functioned as a whole, and which exists to some extent even today.
Anyway, getting back to our story - Ahortaggomahos found that the odds were against him since each battle with the enemy nearly cost him his life. So he decided that he would live with them until he felt he was safe enough to venture out on his own. He also felt that by living with them he might help to strengthen and protect his family from any unlikely calamity that may befall them, and also to contribute to their overall sustenance and security. His family -also by tradition- pressed him to pursue a lengthy training course that the world had to offer, which would presumably increase his chances of survival - provided that he pass of course.
During the years that he trained he became discouraged at the world around him and so he started to live a life full of debauchery. This behavior led him to squander most of his family's inheritance, which made him a burden to his family since they had to eventually take on his prodigal expenditures and pay off his debts. After many agonizing efforts from his family and friends he eventually rehabilitated himself and graduated at the top of his class. He was 35 years old when he graduated, and soon after he met that special someone that changed his whole life completely. It took him five years to find a job(succeed in combating the system) in his field; after that he later got married to that special someone and moved upstairs from his folks.
In a fictional and hyperbolic kind of way this story tends to highlight how close-knit each Greek family is and also how difficult it is to combat the shark-like Greek capitalist system. The embarrassing element for the protagonist, as I mentioned at the onset of this post, has to do with his public image to those who of foreign mentality view it as improper to live over a third of your life with your folks. Not that having a form of dependence on your folks is a bad thing, it's just that overdoing it may lead others to conjure up all forms of misunderstandings. However, I'll admit that if a foreigner were to grow up in such harsh conditions as is so prevalent(the social system, the justice system, the political system, the economic system, etc. etc. etc.) the case here in Greece, then they too may end up following the same scenario. Who knows?

The 'We-don't-have-money-to-live-but-we-have-enough-to-have-a-good-time' Syndrome

It's the strangest thing, yet every time I go out to enjoy some form of recreation with my friends and I start talking with new people, there's a side to them that always strikes me as odd. They're sitting here complaining to me that they have no money, and I'm sitting there wondering how in the hell is that possible if he's already put 5 beers on his tab and going on his 6th... Or, there are people from your neighborhood or from your job that you recognize that aren't so well off financially and yet there they are partying their hearts out. It makes you wonder sometimes how they manage to make ends meet by the end of the month. However, one things for sure, either they're spending their whole paycheck in recreational activities, or they've found a second source of cash(e.g. loan, stolen money, black money, etc.) that they're not telling you about - or keeping hush-hush for reasons of self preservation.
The good thing though is that Greece is one of the few countries that provides non-stop entertainment which caters to those who by trade are commonly known as - the good-entertainment-goers('kaloperasakides'). These people typically have a sinecure that keeps them preoccupied for perhaps an hour or so a day, and which allows them the time they need to rest up for the fun that they're about to experience. It's like they've all found their niche in life, and whatever form of entertainment gives them the satisfaction of being happy they put all other things aside and dedicate themselves wholeheartedly to doing what they're best at - having fun. That's all fine and dandy but what mystifies me about the whole equation is how do they find the 'mooolahh'..cause in order to afford the price tag of being a 'good-entertainment-goer' these days you also need some hefty buying power. Maybe each of them have applied to a personal loan that helps them finance their 'party-going' spirit. Oh if only we could all experience such fun!

The '700-euros-is-all-you-get' Syndrome

This syndrome applies more to those in office who are responsible for formulating the legislative law concerning the compensation people should get as opposed to what they deserve. This syndrome is also commonly known to many as the 'the-700-euro-generation.' It basically represents the amount of money most people typically get as their monthly salary. As pathetic of an amount as it may sound it's actually what the government considers to be a just amount of money. I hate to sound ironic but when you try and put two and two together(the cost of living and your salary) you'll realize that the scales of justice are lopsided and that they tend to lean in favor of those who are in power and whose pockets are full of bribes and ill profited gains. It's a sad truth and yet everyone who confesses it seems too downtrodden to try and do anything about it. Even if you did succeed in mustering up more than the common monthly salary, when it comes time for you to submit your tax returns, and you end up showing an income that is above 13,000 a year, then the government has to fine you for making -what they consider to be- 'too much money.' Again, as I've mentioned in some of my previous posts concerning government regulations, it seems that the government wants to find a way to control its citizens from making a descent living, and to make up excuses or laws that would allow them to profit off of those who overstepped their so-called monetary boundaries. Personally, I'm not affected by this since most of the income that I generate is tax-free and comes from online endeavors - all of which don't get accounted for since there's no corresponding store-front location.

The 'Follow-the-herd' Syndrome

Next time you pack your bags to go somewhere -especially away from Athens- don't let people's stereotypical travel behavior sway you from making your own decision - it may actually save you from going the distance, rather than getting stuck for hours behind the honk-yell-and-grind turmoil that seems so prevalent to those who just like to follow the herd. Trying to get them to leave Athens and go to their villages in an organized manner is like herding frogs. Don't get me wrong, getting away from Athens is every person's dream come true, as much as it is mine, but when faced with the dismal nightmare of having to face a Pandora's box along the way, then the journey doesn't seem so worthwhile when compared to the destination. You've probably heard the saying, 'when you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.' Well, in this situation I'd rather stay in the kitchen than get trampled on by a stampede of bellicose Greeks. It's not to say that other nationalities don't get involved in their own 'wild-pack' excursions, but at least they do it in a more civilized manner. Take for instance German people; when it comes time for them to go on their designated holiday trip they make sure to take some stuff with them that they can use to enjoy the occasion of having to wait in traffic for long periods of time. They even park their cars and make a picnic on the side of the road where they can enjoy food & drink with their families. It's more like a festive occasion for them, and waiting is something delightful - not a drive-you-off-the-side-of-the-road type of mentality.
Don't worry you've got over 300 other days to choose from in order to get your 'get-the-hell-out-of-Athens' breather. Plus, even if you're stuck here and everybody has gone out of sight, at least you don't have the hustle and bustle of everyday city life trampling on your senses.
This 'follow-the-herd' mentality is also popular with things that the government gives a deadline for. For instance, if a new tax law comes out or a new ordinance is issued, people flock like the salmon of Capistrano to make sure they're in the safe zone and not in kahoots with them(the gov.). Or if there's a big rugby game and the tickets get sold out, people will still assemble like termites to a freshly peeled piece of wood and surround the stadium. Just don't go anywhere within a 3 mile radius of the event, you might get caught in the rampaging winds of hooligan fury.. Anyway, I can't think of any other event that might cause a ubiquitous stir among people, except of course if there's an epidemic(e.g. food shortage or viral infection), in which case I can't even begin to imagine the herds of people that would be lining up at supermarkets and pharmacies. They're probably capable of short stocking nearby countries let alone our own....lol

The 'last-name-that-either-exults-you-or-ridicules-you' Syndrome

Greek people must be the only race that I have personally come across whose last names have etymological roots that when spoken, give off a comical flavor to them. For instance, yesterday I had a guy whose last name was 'power saw' or 'prioni' in Greek - you know, the kind you use to cut down a tree. Or, better yet, there was a woman I met last week whose surname was 'Κουκουρουκου.' I'm guessing she must have had someone in her family who had a loose screw in their minds, and it must have been carried on from generation to generation until she got stuck with it - how embarrassing it is to be her. Below is a list of last names -followed by my own critique- that I've heard other people tell me about. If you have a funny one to add the the list, then please, be my guest. There are a few that have 'no comment' next to them, so you can also add something there as well.
ΜΑΛΙΑΚΑΣ/Μαλάκα - I've heard both mentioned; imagine being named after an insult - how tragic!
καρπουζης - He must really be a sweet, red(complexion) watery kinda guy...lol
κωλάρας - His cheeks must have profound meaning...
κουνελάκη - no comment.
Τσιμπούκη - no comment.
Πουλής - no comment.
Χούφτας - I can't imagine this surname belonging to a female; I'm sure that if a guy had it, he'd feel proud of himself in a perverted kinda way..
Τριχας - Either he/she has a hair fetish, or they must really be hairy...
Σάλτσας - I guess he/she likes to spice things up...maybe a touch of Tabasco should do the trick..
Πιπας - no comment.
κόπανος - no comment.
Λυπημένος - Their family tree must have had a legacy of sad experiences.
Καραγκιόζης - no comment.
Μπούρδας - no comment.
Τούβλος - I think this person is a few bricks short of a load.
Πικραμενος - This miserable person must be bitter about life. Oh well, get over it and try changing your name to something more pleasant sounding.
Πάπαρας - no comment.

Whatever their family legacy was...it must have surely been marred by some misfortunate event because these names don't just come out by chance. A word of advice to all those who posses these kinds of names: "go to a lawyer and get your surname changed. It's not as hard as you think. Don't let your succeeding generations suffer from humiliating insults just because you felt you had to carry on or honor your family's tradition."